if you are going to write a blog it might be helpful to actually understand the internet!  But, alas, just when I think I have it down, something is lost forever.  I understand my “voice” must be authentic.   I am struggling with that premise, for, although I had no trouble speaking about personal feelings to groups of 50 or 60, the thought of a million people reading anything I’d written so freaked me out, I felt exposed somehow.

I find in my life, a trail of little clues always add up to something I need to learn.  First clue was Saturday morning, I woke up, went into my kitchen and turned on CNN, there was Ali Velshi and his money report, not usually my favorite topic, but he was live at SXSW.  For the uninitiated of you, which included me up until that morning at 11:10, SXSW, which stands for South By South West, is some huge deal in the tech community!  It would seem, that all major apps, and music, and blog ideas come from this conference.  (Note to self, next year we go to Austin).  I settled in and watched the show which was fascinating in and of itself.  One important lesson, all creative geniuses consider their product or service in the BETA stage even after launch, so you never need be afraid to put your project out there as it can always be changed!  Now, there is a load off my shoulders!!

I now had a piece of the puzzle, another clue so to speak.  The last link in the chain was an introduction to one of the speakers, which is, of course, the one thing I can not find to link to this blog, but I will find it and add it later. It gave a synopsis of her speech and lo and behold, it was to deal with how much of yourself to expose on your blog.  The writer spoke about her conflict between her real feelings and how she wished to be perceived BINGO, I guess this is my struggle.  I know there are many women and men in my age group with the same pressures and uncertainties of aging, but without a voice to articulate their feelings and fears.  I must try to get over my need to save face with an unknown and probably at this juncture very small amount of readers and tell you what I really think and feel.  If I can’t do this then I guess, I wasn’t cut out for blogging and I will have to go back to standing on the corner on a soapbox, the original “tweeters” of civilization.

I believe in my next blog, perhaps even tonight I’ll approach the one thing I am most uncomfortable speaking about in print and in life, sex!  My original blog was to be….You Never Know When the Last Time You Had Sex, Will Be the Last Time You Have Sex.  This was the blog, all written, that disappeared from my computer and I just couldn”t face rewriting it, but I guess this will become a test of my willingness to really share my feelings.  If you never hear from me again, I flunked!