Although, I am not sure that anyone notices, I have been absent from this blog for a week. No, I was not sick, or traveling in Europe or making a speech in Sweden. It was a big birthday! You know the ones I mean, most end in 0’s, a few with a 5, but all are painful, thought-provoking and different. I call them “watershed” birthdays and though I am not quite ready to publicly claim this one, it was my most difficult ever.
I have always been really good with these milestones, a little sulking before each one but then sailed right through. Not this one, my birthday is the 22nd of June and things started downhill in April. It did not seem to matter how many people said you don’t look your age, you don’t seem your age or you certainly don’t act your age. By the way, is that last one really a compliment?
I believe, part of the problem is the dichotomy, between where we think we should, or thought we would be, at any particular point in our life and where we actually find ourselves! I decided to put the birthday in perspective by using a tool we used at Weight Watchers called reframing. I sat down sometime around Memorial Day and made a list of all the great things that happened to me in the last decade, that shall be the subject of another whole blog, and decided that this next decade could well be just as interesting! No need to consider my life nearly over, look ahead to new challenges and adventures. Who ever knows what is around the bend?
My birthday this past weekend was really wonderful, we were away in a beautiful spot here in California, Ojai Valley Inn and Spa. My husband spoiled me with so many spa treatments, i jokingly said I needed to go home and rest up from so much relaxing! Everything seemed back to normal or what passes for normal. So you can imagine my surprise when I woke up at six this morning with a quote from Shakespeare roaming around in my head. I am as well-educated as the next person, but old William rarely enters my consciousness and certainly not at six am. The quote is from Julius Caesar, Act I, Scene 2. I had to look it up because I did not remember it exactly. How many actual books did we have to look through before Google? The quote is as follows:
“Men at sometime are masters of their fates: The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, But in ourselves, that we are underlings.”
Now my question is why this quote, on this day?
My son and daughter-in-law gave me a beautiful surprise luncheon, bringing with them the most wonderful of all my gifts, my darling Granddaughter, Charlie! All in all it was an idyllic weekend. Perfect weather, great place, even greater food and friends, minimal drama! We had a fabulous time, trip home uneventful. Yesterday pretty much back to normal, no big day hanging over my head. What can this quote possibly mean? All you armchair therapists out there, please send me your diagnosis!