I am not even going to try to explain where I have been, or what I’ve been up to. Suffice it to say we will catch up in later posts. Mostly, I have just been avoiding writing anything because when I started this blog it was with the sole intent of making you laugh at things we all encounter using humor to make life a little more bearable. If I can’t do that I am not going to take up any room on the internet or in your inbox.
So many great bloggers around now, who take on serious matters and inform and enlighten their readers. The world doesn’t need anymore information thrown at it. As soon as I relearn the linking thing, although between you and me I never really understood it; I will start linking to some of the best I have found. When I couldn’t think up anything vaguely amusing I simply stopped trying. I have about ten, half written blogs that I could never seem to finish.
So, days turned into weeks and weeks into months and it became like having to make a phone call you should have made but put off and now, you don’t know what to say, that is where I am.
I should tell you that I agreed to move to the desert for a year while my husband got a new office off the ground and as a possible place to live permanently if we liked it. One piece of advice, never move to the desert in the spring, because summer is just around the corner. Do not let anyone tell you there is no difference between 100 degrees and 115 degrees, there is. There is hot, very hot and hell and the good news is I can now tell them apart.
We moved to a lovely country club place with lots to do, if you like to do these kinds of things. But, for now we are just going to enjoy my experience of “Hiking with Hubby”. If it sounds like a TV show, it might make it on Bravo. Last week we decided to take up hiking, sounded like a good idea.
I, who think I am roughing it, when I have to go to the 4th floor in Saks Fifth Avenue decided I must have just the right clothes for a hike. Those would be what? Okay I give up. Let’s just start with the shoes, even I know I need hiking boots, so off hubby and I go to buy appropriate footwear. What happened to those charming, Heidi Klumish boots that looked like work boots. Gone. Now they all look like a cross between sneakers and something else. We tracked down all the usual suspects, Columbia Sportswear, Rockport and Merrell, all comfortable, but awful looking, terrible colors, impossible to match to any reasonable hiking things, whatever they turn out to be. Also, almost impossible to get in and out of, pulling laces and opening and closing things, not good. Husband running out of patience when we come across the Uggs store, worst case scenario I’ll get another pair of boots out of this trip. But guess who makes hiking boots? Only for men and kids! However, a lovely sales person informs me that if I take a women’s’ six I can wear a kids four and she is right, comfortable, beautiful, easy to lace up and cheaper than grownup shoes! I am in heaven and they look like hiking boots should look suede with that great lambs wool inner sole. How bad can this outdoor thing be if I can do it in Uggs.
Threw together some safari shorts with loads of pockets and gray tee and I am good to go. All about the clothes, right? Not so fast, day one husband agrees not to make me walk more than a few miles and he keeps his word. Shoes very comfortable, what can go wrong. We arrive at the wilderness, in reality only about 20 minutes from our house, so far so good. Then come all the signs, if you meet a Mountain Lion, try to look bigger than you are, huh! If you come across a snake, stay calm, ascertain if it is a rattler or a sidewinder. Why? Will there be a quiz later, if I live!
Now, I am not sure where I should look, at the trail so as not to trip, at the underbrush for snakes and lizards, or into the distance for predator cats. I really want to look at the gorgeous scenery but I am afraid I’ll miss some threat to my well-being. I made it through and my husband kept his word and we headed back to civilization after a couple of miles so I agreed to return today………………
Big difference, much hotter but now we do have a snakebite kit, water, binoculars, which means we are trying to make the five-mile loop. Not great idea, I have a pretty good sense of direction, but no large body of water, Atlantic or Pacific Ocean or Lake Michigan to relate to. And most rocks and all sand looks alike, so I am having a problem following the trail.
My husband, who has no sense of direction but will never admit that, definitely knows where he is going, until he doesn’t. Even though I can see the main road in the distance, with cars and poles, I keep remembering all those news stories about people lost for days within a mile of their cars, not how I want to die. By now my husband is way ahead trying to look like he knows where he’s going and I’m deciding how the ambulance is going to get into this oversized sand trap to pick us up.
Keep walking, thinking why I’m not more adventurous and push everything just a little farther than I really want to go. Something I must work on before I die, if that doesn’t turn out to be today. We make it back to the trail head and civilization, I suggest to the guides there that they have a divorce attorney right there in the office. I am sure he would have more work then he could handle. Now from the safety of my home I guess I am glad my husband sometimes forces me out of my comfort zone. Who knows what new things I can learn in the next ten years!!!!!