You never know when the last time you had sex, will be the last time you ever have sex …………Now that I have your attention, don’t get your hopes up, this blog is really not about sex (so sorry)! This is simply a metaphor for growing older.
This was my first ever blog, but in my complete ignorance and before my Lucy arrived to rescue me, I misplaced it in the computer. I know it must still be here somewhere, so if that somewhere is your house, simply disregard this version. For the rest of us, I am using this as a metaphor for life as we grow older. I can not pinpoint the exact age I was when I realized that time and life were finite commodities, but I can remember until that day, I believed someday I would live in Manhattan. I have lived in many big cities Boston, Chicago and now Los Angeles, but New York is still the BIG APPLE!
Therefore, having to give up on that dream, made me aware that maybe I was not going to live forever. And sure enough, thoughts of changes in life began to creep in. I’ve been blessed with what my doctor calls “a boring medical history”. I seem to have gotten all the good genes in my family and now in my sixties, have none of the chronic or acute conditions that plague my friends. My husband is in great shape, he actually works at it, there is a place called “the gym” where you can “workout“? I just take a walk every now and again and hope for the best.
We are also lucky to have maintained a great sex life for our age, most people think we have a great sex life for any age! This is where the problem arises, anytime now it could all end. Whether by stroke or heart attack, accident, illness or death, sex could be here one day and gone the next. It is not the loss of, sex itself, but a reminder of how quickly our lives can change from one minute to the next. I guess this is what I wrestle with now, as a younger person these thoughts never crossed my mind, but now, what ifs fill my life.
What if my husband dies? What if I get sick and can’t take care of myself? What if I have to stop driving? The what ifs just go on and on and on, and so in my mind they have all been summed up in “what if this is the last time I ever have sex“. For any one else it could be something completely different. I know this fear of loss is a common thread for seniors, both male and female!
I would love for you to comment on your “what ifs“, let’s just hope those comments don’t give us all more things to worry about!!